Meow's In a Nutshell

Hmmmm

2006-12-18T00:29:20Z

On the twelfth day of Christmas, shallow_blaze sent to me...

Twelve missunknown16s drumming

Eleven hack_coders working

Ten nsapseads a-dreaming

Nine daltsys drawing

Eight soyfishs a-kickboxing

Seven soporificfrogs a-reading

Six shooteurs a-drinking

Five ca-a-a-amcs

Four kryalcastles

Three stratus_fears

Two movies

...and a somewhere in a trentiusmaximus.

You are currently logged in as (bold)spanishdancer. (/bold)

2006-12-08T08:22:45Z

I don't update as much any more ...

I think it's because I'm slowly figuring out that my thoughts are my own. Thoughts are an intriguing thing, they can be tumultuous, ecstatic, happy, sad or plain weird. I've been having far too many lately about what is happening around me and what is going on within me.

It's 7.20pm on a Friday night and I've come into work to get away from everything, how pathetic is that! To all celebrating the Christmas breakup at IBM, kick arse!!!

Ours is next week. I think I'm going to leave Ballarat soon.

A Christmas Story ...

2006-12-07T02:02:35Z

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas, old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Mis'rable brats, ungrateful jerks ! I've got a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my arse for damn near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa", what do I hear ?

The old lady whines 'cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money, the reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better

Those pricks from the ATO sent me a letter !

They say I owe taxes - now ain't that too funny ?

Who the hell ever sent old Santa Claus money?

And the kids these days - they all are the pits

They want the impossible, mean little shits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds,

Assembling dolls, their arms, legs and heads.

Made a whole ton of yo-yos, no orders for them.

Just computers and robots - I'm not I-B-M !

Flying down through the air, dodging the trees

Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job 'cause there's just no enjoyment

I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

No Christmas this year, now you know the reason !

I found me a blonde. I'm off SOUTH for the season !

Merry Christmas everyone

Important to know ...

2006-12-03T22:55:18Z

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman replied..

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked "No, I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said.
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

Candidates for "Man of the Year"...

2006-11-27T01:16:41Z

A great day for the Races!!!!

2006-11-22T02:57:28Z

Just for shits and giggles ... And then he said ....

2006-11-15T06:10:56Z

Can someone tell me why when your past revisits it brings along with it so many problems you just have no way of fighting?

No, for once I'm not being a sook I'm seriously asking.

What is it about the past that brings people so much confusion and pain?
Why do people always come to the point of decision based on their MEMORY of you?
What makes a person want to hold the world in the palm of their hand and then drop it?
How do you cope with a situation so volitile it could end someone's life?

and more importantly ...

How in hells good name do you do the grown up thing and walk away when you're asked to do
something that could ultimately end you?

My Angel

2006-11-14T06:58:56Z

I can't undo the day
It won't go under the rug
I pull out all the stops
And you pull the plug

These are sober days and I know it can't be
But I'll miss you the way you miss the sea

Don't look down
Keep staring like you've never seen the stars
If you need me to remind you who you are
Little blossom there's the shiniest soul
Just behind those eyes

"No longer my affair"
Well I can't go there just yet
So I've come to love and trust those friends
That are holding your net

Falling off used to mean
Maybe grazing a knee
And I'll miss you the way you miss the sea

Don't look down
Keep staring like you've never seen the stars
If you need me to remind you who you are
Little blossom there's the shiniest soul
Just behind these eyes

While I won't second guess
What you're thinking of me

spanishdancer @ 2006-11-14T17:24:00

2006-11-14T06:24:29Z

Some days people just open their mouths and thoroughly impress me!!
When I grow up I want to be just like you ... you know who you are dear!

Dazza and Shazza

2006-11-14T01:25:13Z

Dazza was driving along the Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his
girlfriend Shazza about to throw herself off. Dazza slams on the brakes and
yells: “Shazza, what the hell d’ya think ya doin’?”
Shazza turns around with a tear in her eye and says: “Dazza, ya got me
pregnant and so now I’m gonna kill myself.”
Dazza gets a lump in his throat when he hears this. “Shazza,” he says. “Fair
dinkum, not only are ya a top root, but you’re a top sport, too.”

A little levity for a Tuesday in November ...

2006-11-14T00:57:48Z

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her
students

The teacher asked, "Singh Jr. what is your problem?"

Singh Jr. answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st-grade. My sister is in the
3rd-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd-grade
too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Singh Jr. to the principal's office. While
Singh Jr. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal
what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a
test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to
the first-grade and
behave.She agreed.

Singh Jr. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" ------- Singh Jr.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" ------- Singh Jr.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know.

The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Singh Jr. can go to
the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions."

Can I ask him?" The principal and Singh Jr. both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Singh Jr., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Singh Jr.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Singh Jr.: "Pants"

Ms Neelam: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Singh Jr.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Singh
Jr. was taking charge.

Singh Jr.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Singh Jr.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam : Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Singh Jr.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Singh Jr.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.The
Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka.
Singh Jr.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Singh Jr.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Singh Jr.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Singh Jr.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u
have to use your hand

Singh Jr.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as
intercourse?

Singh Jr.: TALK

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than
on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after
they're married?

Singh Jr.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?

Singh Jr.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Singh
Jr. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

WOW

2006-11-13T01:36:18Z

Melbourne WOW
Ballarat WOW
Growing up WOW
Leaving bad memories behind WOW
Having Confidence again WOW
Current State of Affairs in Life WOW

Kinky Boots

2006-10-31T05:52:21Z

Alrighty LJers give me your ideas on these HOT boots!!!
I'm thinking of buying the RED ones ... what think you?

Meow!

spanishdancer @ 2006-10-31T12:38:00

2006-10-31T01:39:33Z

HAPPY HALLOWEEN MUNCHKIN MINIONS!!!

Hello there children ... come out and play!

2006-10-30T02:21:19Z

Well,

I figured it was time for a reshuffle and new start.
Also - keeping with my murphey's syndrome - I got locked out of my account and forgot my password resets.

I spent the day in Melbourne yesterday and fuck it was fantastic!!!!
More on that later right now i have to attempt some work.

YAY!!!
Love and giggles
Meow